Our Miscarriage Journey: Part 1

We never expected this to happen to us.  We never expected to join the 20% of couples trying to conceive.  We never expected to experience a miscarriage.  But we did.  Here is our story about our very long and strange journey through a miscarriage.

{Sunday July 15}  positive home pregnancy test # 1

{Tuesday July 17}  positive home pregnancy test # 2

{Monday July 30}  initial OB appointment, HCG 17,000
***HCG is a hormone that your body produces when you are pregnant.  When the levels reach 2,000 - a gestational sac can be visualized via ultrasound and when the level reaches 5,000 - the baby's heartbeat can be detected.  Because my levels were already at 17,000 at 6 weeks, I was scheduled for my first ultrasound for the following day to check size and dates.  Expected due date for baby #2 = March 25, 2013

{Tuesday July 31}  ultrasound #1, HCG 22,000, surgery #1
***Nothing showed up on my first ultrasound, not even a gestational sac.  (Remember that a gestational sac can be detected at HCG levels of 2,000 - mine was 17,000 the day before.)  They even performed a trans-vaginal ultrasound for a better view.  I wasn't too concerned because I was only 6 weeks and my uterus is retroverted, making it harder to visualize.  We were sent home and told that my Dr would be following up with me soon.  That afternoon we went to the pool for a few hours; when I got home I had SIX missed calls from the doctor's office and Adam had three - I KNEW something was wrong!  I called back and the nurse wanted me to come in ASAP because they thought I was having an ectopic pregnancy.  My OB/GYN suspected I was having an ectopic pregnancy for a few very good reasons: 1. No gestational sac showed up on my u/s, although my HCG levels suggested that an embryo/fetus had developed  2. A cyst-like mass appeared on my right ovary.  Both of these signs would lead any doctor to believe that I was experiencing an ectopic pregnancy located on my right ovary.  Because this is a life-threatening condition I was scheduled for surgery that evening.  I was told that I would undergo an laprascopic procedure to remove the pregnancy and possibly the right ovary and/or fallopian tube.  Adam and I were both very sad to hear this news - mostly because we were losing Harper's future brother or sister.  Plus the thought of only having one ovary/fallopian tube made me very nervous about my future fertility.  However surgery did NOT go as planned.  The surgery team (2 OB/GYN's, 2 med students, & I NP) could NOT find any sign of an ectopic pregnancy...anywhere!  They looked on both fallopian tubes/ovaries, outer side of uterus, and even in my abdomen....NOTHING!

Where could this mysterious pregnancy be developing?!  Was it a pregnancy or a tumor causing my HCG levels to rise?  Yes, I said tumor.  The "C" word was thrown at me as a possible - but highly unlikely answer to my unique situation.  Really?!?!  It was a hard enough week on me - not seeing our baby on an ultrasound and then going through surgery - only to be told the problem wasn't solved!!!  At this point I was frustrated that I had just went through an unnecessary surgery (although it actually was necessary at the time), yet hopefully that maybe I was indeed pregnant.  Adam and I were given hope that a pregnancy was hiding really, really well in my uterus.  We truly believed that we were given a 2nd chance.  I was scheduled for lab work 2 days post-surgery to determine the course of my diagnosis/treatment


{Thursday Aug 2} HCG 29,000, ultrasound #2
***HCG levels generally double every 48 hours in a healthy pregnancy. Today my levels should have been AT LEAST 44,000 but were only 29,000. Because my levels did increase some, indicating that the pregnancy was still developing, I was scheduled for another ultrasound. Remember, a heartbeat is visible when HCG levels are 5,000, mine are now at 29,000. Again, nothing was visible via a trans-vaginal ultrasound. My uterus did show some growth in the lining, but still no gestational sac. Bummer. My doctor called that afternoon after receiving the u/s report and said that I would more than likely miscarry over the weekend. Double bummer.

{Tuesday Aug 7} HCG 49,000, ultrasound # 3, Dr visit #2
***The weekend passed and I did not miscarry.  So more lab work was ordered.  My HCG increased again but was still not at the level it should be.  Again, I went in for another u/s thinking something has to be growing!  NOPE!  1, possibly 2 gestational sacs looked visible, however they contained only fluid.  After the u/s I was pretty much convinced that there was no chance of a pregnancy.  I was now 7 weeks along and nothing had shown up on 3 ultrasounds.  I had an appt with my OB/GYN directly after the u/s to discuss my options.  He reinforced that fact that the pregnancy is not viable.  I decided that I wanted to let my body miscarry naturally, instead of going in for another surgery.  Also, this is the first day that I heard the word multiples......as in I had more than one embryo trying to form!  At this point my OB/GYN just threw the idea out there, as my HCG levels were pretty high (even for a healthy pregnancy) and it looked like 2 sacs were trying to form.  Me...conceiving multiples...there is NO way!

{Tuesday Aug 14} HCG 55,000, ultrasound # 4
***Another week had passed and I still had not had not miscarried.  I went in for more lab work and it showed that my HCG levels increased AGAIN!  This was absolutely crazy and my doctor had never had a case like this before!  At this point I was gaining a 2nd round of hope.  I was also getting very frustrated with the mystery behind everything.  I wanted an answer.  I went back in for another u/s to see if anything had developed - same old story - nothing :(  The gestational sacs were still there - and still empty :(  I was now 8 weeks along.  We had our first u/s with Harper when she was 8 weeks, so I KNEW that a baby should be detected at this point, even in my tilted uterus.  The u/s actually brought us a sense of relief, in the fact that we finally had our answer and could move on.  This was a bitter-sweet day.

Check back soon for Part 2 - more tests and procedures!  I have divided this story into a few posts, simply because our story is long, mysterious, and complicated!

***We decided to share our story with our family/friends only because we know a lot of people who have also gone through a miscarriage.  It is our hope that our story helps those feel less 'alone.'  I personally feel less isolated because others have shared their experiences and I understand that 1 out of 5 women also go through this.

***We did NOT share our story to gain any ones sympathy.  Trust me when I say that we have coped very well with our situation and are looking forward to the future, instead of dwelling on the past.